*Forgive the tiny photo – this was taken a very long time ago (ignore the date) on an old cell phone*
In today’s Everyday Andrea post, I thought I would share a poem I wrote back when we were waiting to bring JP home from Guatemala. The only poem I’ve ever written. I DO NOT (I repeat, DO NOT) consider myself to be a poet. At all. In fact, I’m not even really a fan of poetry.
I titled the poem, The Waiting Room. Our adoption process from start to finish was approximately eighteen(ish) months. For most of those months, I felt like I was suffocating. There were days when I literally couldn’t breathe. We met him when he was four months old. We went to spend his first Christmas with him, with every intention of bringing him home. Unfortunately, our paperwork did not move fast enough. Seven days later, I had to hand him back to the nanny at the children’s home. The waiting period was excruciating.
So many times I questioned why God would not allow me to have my baby. He didn’t have a home. He didn’t have a mom and dad. He needed me. And I needed him. What purpose could God possibly have for allowing the process to drag on for so long?
The Waiting Room
As I enter through the doorway; My heart is pounding in my chest. My knees are weak, my palms are wet. I do not feel ready for this test.
The room is far from empty. There’s a soul in every chair. Wondering if He’s heard their cries, and listening for an answer to their prayers.
I’ve never seen this room before. My life has been pretty smooth. But I was always told the time would come to take my seat in The Waiting Room.
So, here I am Lord, waiting for this child. He’s in Your hands, he’s happy. You’ve sent me glimpses of his smile. I’m waiting now for my turn to have him and know that he’s my child.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds.” I know that’s what you ask of me, Lord, but I feel too weak this time.
It feels like I’ve been in here forever. It’s getting hard for me to breathe. Where are You, God? I need You! Hear my earnest plea!
I am on my knees and praying. My face is on the ground. Just when I thought I was all alone, that’s when I heard the sound.
I looked up and saw what seemed like an ordinary man. He knelt beside me, looked into my eyes and offered me His hand.
I had no choice but to take it. His voice filled my heart with peace. “Walk with me, child, I’m here with you. Let all your worries cease.”
“I know this time is hard for you and you do not understand. But trust in Me, stay close to Me. I promise to fulfill My plan!”
“These months were not intended to harm you. You’ve done exactly what I’d hoped you would do. You brought Me honor, glory, and praise throughout your time in The Waiting Room.”
When you find yourself in The Waiting Room (and you will), hold your head up. Look around.
You’re never alone.