JP is seeing his therapist for the first time today. Right now. He was nervous when we got here but warmed up quickly. She’s very nice – a good fit. At least I think so. We’ll see what he says when he comes out.

I’m caught off guard by my feelings. I sat in the session for the first fifteen minutes and was fine. Now, in the waiting area, my heart is thumping too hard and all of a sudden I have a headache.

What’s that about? It’s a good thing – a better than good thing – that we’re here. I’m so thankful he’s getting outside support. I know it’s the right thing to do.

What am I afraid of? I’m not the one in there.

Could that be the issue? I’m not in there.

We finally found a safe place for him to unpack his emotions, and I’m not invited into that space.

My heartbeat is ringing in my ears…

Post therapy session thoughts:

“You have a really good kid!” Amelia (that’s her name) said, walking into the waiting area. I’m not shocked, he is a good one, but it’s nice when another adult thinks so. Especially a professional who spends the majority of her time with teenagers like JP.

We loved the whole vibe – not clinical and stuffy. It was an old house with creaky floors. I wanted to sit on the couch with a book and drink coffee. That’s saying a lot because I don’t drink coffee.

She wants to see him every other week for now.

I can tell this is going to be a life changing experience for both of us.

JP will find his path to solace.

And I will sit here and breathe.